I hypothesize that the Green Giant is really the Hulk. What do you think? Here's how it happened:
Once upon a time in a land bigger than life lived a Green Giant. He was always pushing the kiddies to eat their vegetables, even though he looked like one. He had a wonderful life in spite of "the man" making him pawn off most of his best friends to the can. One by one he saw them being plucked from the prime of life, steamed to death and buried in a silver container that "the man" would label so the vegans of Earth could eat them. He wondered when it would be his turn.
Oh, "the man" kept giving him makeovers, which was fine with him, he liked keeping the lady vegans coming back for more. He started as a
but quickly grew to the
we all know and love. Then one day something horrible happened, "the man" started infanticide with the peas. Oh, "the man" put them in plastic bags so they could see their oppressors. They could even see their vegan rescuers, until they put them in the microwave, for their final spin.
The Giant wondered what was next? Cheese? Molten cheese?
Broccoli was always his best friend. He called him Brock. Brock and Green (which is what Brock called the Green Giant) stalked around the green land, trying to stay away from "the man". They traveled near and far together. Whenever Brock got tired stalking, Green would hoist him to his shoulders and continue on their travels.
Green could cover long distances with his stride. Brock and Green decided to make a world tour, anything to stay away from "the man". They gathered their friends and neighbors to tell them they would be leaving, on an exciting adventure in the land of Afar. Before they departed, someone in the crowd took a picture of the world travelers.
It wasn't the best picture of the two, Green did get a little hot under the collar. He really couldn't complain too much about the picture, he was horrible at "selfies".
This ends part 1 of the series: Green Giant is really the Hulk. Tune in tomorrow for more escapades with Green and Brock.
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(I'm not crazy, SS had me tested) |
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